YOUR MEMES ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU

Chapter 4: What If You Lose the Ability to Make Little Memes…?

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Gu Wei stared at his cell phone, dumbfounded. Hadn't they been having a perfectly nice conversation? Now this kid was insulting the other customers.

This business was wild.

Since it seemed like Chi Yunkai's precious customer was about to self-implode for some unknown reason, Gu Wei decided to offer a word of advice.

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Darling, don't be like that. You're not so different from them.

[100K Volts]: ……

[100K Volts]: Am I being rude, or are you just too easy?

The sleep medication Gu Wei had taken earlier was starting to take effect. He felt his eyelids growing heavy, even though he hadn't sealed the deal with this hotshot customer yet.

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: I have to go to sleep. I'll tell you all the details about our subscription packages tomorrow. You should get some sleep soon, too.

[100K Volts]: I……

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Don't stay up all night! Daddy will spank you if you stay up all night.

Gu Wei couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. His cell phone slid out of his hand before he could even lock the screen. He was out like a light, so he didn't see that the chat interface, for a solid ten minutes, showed the message:

100K Volts is typing…

Back at the Jiang family's villa, Jiang Xun was still staring at his screen phone screen. He was so pissed he had to laugh.

Who the hell was supposed to be 'daddy'? Was that how Gu Wei wanted to play?

The 'nice' and 'well-behaved' boy really wasn't nice or well-behaved at all.

Jiang Xun hunched over his phone and spent around ten minutes composing a lecture on the morals and health ramifications of seeking a sugar daddy, and he used the opportunity to mention his philosophy of protecting his fans as well.

But after he gave it some thought, he decided to delete the message without sending it in the end.

Regardless of whether it was good or bad behavior, it was Gu Wei's life and Gu Wei's choices. Jiang Xun may have disapproved, but it wasn't his place to interfere.

After all…

Idols were supposed to stay out of their fans' lives!

 

It was just past four in the morning when Gu Wei woke to the sound of his alarm. He rushed into a company car and headed straight for the airport. By six in the morning, he had boarded a plane bound for a small country in northern Europe, where he would be part of the cast of the fifth installment of Wandering With You.

Gu Wei hadn't slept well, startling awake every so often in the night. Throughout the day, he was frequently sleepy.

He sank into his first-class seat and blearily grabbed his cell phone. It seemed the big customer from yesterday wasn't awake yet.

Their conversation had stopped after the line about being spanked by 'Daddy'. It seemed the customer had been scared off by that.

Gu Wei ducked his head and typed in a few lines, deciding to reach out.

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Boss, I'm busy today, so just tell me when you decide how long of a subscription you want, and I'll quote you a price.

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: slightsmile.jpg

The boy band Gu Wei belonged to was one of the top, in terms of popularity. Even though he and their rapper Chi Yunkai were often badmouthed online, there was no denying that their group was hot stuff. Gu Wei couldn't imagine why Chi Yunkai suddenly wanted to start a substitute farming business for gamers.

It seemed the big customer still wasn't up. Even after a long while, there was no response.

"Hey, didi. What are you doing?" asked Mu Yue, an assistant. "Someone's up to chat with you this early?"

Gu Wei flipped his phone facedown and shook his head. "It's nothing."

The fifth installment of Wandering With You would be filmed in a small town in northern Europe. It was a small, cozy town that was a popular spot for people to spend their holidays. As soon as they arrived, the director quickly gave the seven featured guests their missions. They would have to find their designated NPCs in town and visit some scenic spots in order to complete their tasks.

Before the guests were set loose on the town, the director took their phones and wallets and didn't even give them a map. Gu Wei didn't have a very good sense of direction, so he spent some time just strolling aimlessly through the streets. The camera crew following him remained completely silent as they filmed his journey through the town.

"Gu Wei." A voice called out to him from behind, soon revealed to be Jiang Enyuan, one of the other guests on the show.

Gu Wei turned around and flashed Jiang Enyuan a small smile. It was true that Gu Wei didn't have a lot of on-screen charisma that he could summon at will, and he didn't really like talking to strangers. Typically, whether he was on camera or not, he showed his true self.

"Wanna team up with me?" Jiang Enyuan asked in a seemingly friendly tone. "Your English isn't too good. It'd be difficult by yourself, right?"

Gu Wei looked around at the many cameras surrounding them and pursed his lips. "I'll be fine. My English is alright."

He didn't even need to think about it to know what would happen when this segment was broadcast. Not only would he get flamed for being uncooperative and unwilling to work with others, he was going to get slammed for being poorly educated, too.

The fact that he'd dropped out of school without graduating was going to be brought up by some tabloid again. That much was for sure.

Both he and Jiang Enyuan got popular for singing and dancing, and a while back they'd had a bit of a beef with each other, so it was only natural that there was a lot of net gossip surrounding the two of them. The organizers of Wandering With You knew that, and they hoped having both of them on the show in the same season would light some fireworks.

But Gu Wei simply ditched Jiang Enyuan without any more drama. He took his own camera crew with him and headed for the other side of town, where there were some beautiful scenic spots. He didn't want one unpleasant encounter to ruin what could be a nice vacation.

However, before long, it started to rain. And in that little town, when it rained, it poured. Endlessly. The temperature plummeted. Gu Wei quickly took out an umbrella from his backpack and waved frantically at the camera crew, gesturing for them to share the umbrella with him until they could find a place to take shelter from the rain.

The cameras were still rolling. After dashing over to huddle under the eaves of a nearby building, Gu Wei started to fold up his umbrella again.

"Seems like I'll have to wait here for a while," Gu Wei mused to himself. "Sorry, my footage must be super boring. I'm just making you guys hide from the rain with me."

Although he knew this footage would most likely not make it to broadcast, Gu Wei still earnestly apologized.

While he spoke, he retracted his umbrella.

Online, a lot of people said they had a particular habit when folding up their umbrellas. They held the handle against their own stomach when folding an umbrella, because it would be bad news if they swung it around randomly and hit someone else.

Gu Wei was usually one of those people. He leaned against the building and absently brought the handle of the umbrella to his abdomen as he started to tug it shut.

But today, his umbrella was extraordinarily stubborn and just didn't want to be shut. Without even thinking about it, Gu Wei took hold of the handle and jabbed the top of the umbrella towards the wall behind him to jam it shut.

The umbrella still wouldn't close. In fact, Gu Wei hadn't managed to hit the wall at all. He felt like he had hit something distinctly softer than the wall, and just as he'd stabbed the umbrella backwards, he was pretty sure he'd heard the creaking of the wooden door.

"Eh?" Gu Wei blinked.

The question was, what exactly did he hit?

The lead cameraman was frozen in place with a sort of odd look on his face, like he wanted to laugh, but didn't dare to laugh.

"Eh?" Gu Wei repeated. "What happened?"

He turned around, and also instantly froze in place.

He had struck another person.

At some point, without Gu Wei's notice, someone had opened the building's front door from inside. A person had exited and just so happened to be standing behind Gu Wei, slightly to the side, in just the wrong place.

Gu Wei blanched, starting to feel panicked. He wasn't a short guy himself, but the person behind him was even taller. Which meant, with their respective heights, and this position, and this angle, the exact place Gu Wei's umbrella struck was the other person's...

The other person's most important thing.

Gu Wei frantically looked down at his umbrella, which was still unfolded. But the victim must have been given a very solid prod.

If he said it didn't hurt, that would surely be a lie.

They were all men here. They understood these things.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" Gu Wei hastily apologized. "I didn't know there was someone behind me."

When Gu Wei lifted his head and finally looked at the other person's face, he froze in place once more.

"Hey, you…" Gu Wei blinked. "Aren't you…"

The guy whose face was always made into those reaction memes Gu Wei liked to send. The one who the other guys in his group worshipped as some sort of gaming god. His name was… Jiang Xun?

 

Jiang Xun and his professional league team had just won a world championship. They'd come to this same little town in northern Europe for a vacation. He and his teammates had just put their belongings down in their inn when Jiang Xun heard one of the other guys saying there were people with cameras outside.

He had planned on going outside to check it out, but there was no way he could have known the danger that awaited him. As soon as he opened the door, his pride and dignity were almost crushed into oblivion. Luckily, he reacted quickly enough to jump back and dodge a bit of the force.

Jiang Xun took one look at his surroundings, noting the bodyguards and the cameras bearing a familiar TV station's logo, and instantly understood that this was the recording of a television program.

Whatever young celeb was being filmed had a soft voice and sounded genuinely apologetic. Jiang Xun hadn't really been angry, anyway, so he'd planned on just letting it go.

But then, when he saw the little celebrity's face—

It was Gu Wei.

The bad boy who was asking him on WeChat just last night whether he wanted to 'order' a month or a year.

The fan who often included stickers of Jiang Xun's face in his own Moments on WeChat.

And the evidence that this bad boy had tried to hook up with him last night was still in his cell phone.

The long lecture informing Gu Wei of the error of his ways, which Jiang Xun had stayed up late to write but never sent, was still lingering in Jiang Xun's mind. He could still recite every word. It was on the tip of his tongue.

Now, with the two of them coincidentally running into each other the very next day, Jiang Xun was no longer so adamant about staying out of his little fan's personal life.

Even if he couldn't scold Gu Wei, he could scare him a little. That much was okay, wasn't it?

"Do you know what you did wrong?" Jiang Xun asked with his full attention focused on Gu Wei.

"Ah?" Gu Wei certainly hadn't expected to be asked a question like that. He thought back to what had just happened, and of course had to admit that mistakes had been made. An unbidden blush came to his face. "I apologized."

How could the man behind the face of his favorite memes be so cold?

"Just apologizing isn't enough," Jiang Xun said. "You have to know what you're apologizing for."

He couldn't help but notice the deep red blush that overtook Gu Wei's face, and he found himself thinking that Gu Wei was getting more and more interesting to him.

Just last night, this kid had proudly boasted that he had experience with at least one hundred and eighty clients. And now he was blushing?

"I'm sorry," Gu Wei repeated. He'd given it some serious thought and had to admit he was in the wrong, so naturally he apologized earnestly. "I hurt you. It's my bad."

"It does hurt pretty bad," Jiang Xun said. "What are you going to do about it, kiddo?"

Gu Wei's blush grew even darker. "I could… I could take you…"

What Gu Wei had been about to say was that, if Jiang Xun didn't have any scheduling conflicts, they could go to the hospital to have a look. Obviously, they would want to make sure there wasn't any lasting damage. It would be a disaster if this reaction meme lost the ability to produce little baby reaction memes in the future.

But before he could finish speaking, Jiang Xun lowered his head and planted one hand against the wall, trapping Gu Wei between the wall and his body.

He whispered, right in Gu Wei's ear, "You could… blow it for me."

"You—! Y-y-you…" Gu Wei couldn't even begin to process a line like that. He was so startled that, for a moment, he completely lost the ability to form a coherent sentence. "Reaction memes are not supposed to be that pervy."

It was still raining, but Gu Wei turned and bolted without any regard for the weather. He had completely forgotten that he was being filmed for a variety show, and he didn't even think to raise his umbrella again. The camera crew and bodyguards who'd followed him around gave chase, leaving a bewildered Jiang Xun standing in place.

Memes?

Pervy?

What did that mean?

Just last night, wasn't Gu Wei boldly inviting Jiang Xun to call him 'Daddy'?

The real question, in that case, was which one of them had acted the part of the pervert first.

That was a question that, for the time being, had no answer. But—

Three days later, when the preview for the fifth installment of Wandering With You was broadcast, the two of them instantly became intertwined once more.

As trending topics on Weibo.

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Chapter 4: What If You Lose the Ability to Make Little Memes…?

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