YOUR MEMES ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU

Chapter 5: Your Brother and Your Nemesis Are Getting Hot Together

↤ Prev | Table of Contents | Next ↦

Gu Wei was nervous. He had just promised his manager that this time, while filming his travel show abroad, he wouldn't do anything that made him appear as a trending topic.

Less than a week later, he was right there in the top trends again.

He had assumed that the show's staff would cut out his exchange with Jiang Xun in the editing process. He never imagined they would broadcast that segment without cutting out a single frame. To make things even worse, the showrunners even included a clip from their interaction in the promotional trailer of the episode.

The showrunners had, of course, prioritized the show's popularity above all else. Including that clip in the trailer would undoubtedly draw in countless viewers.

In the trailer, Gu Wei had just been trapped against the wall by Jiang Xun, who lowered his head and whispered something inaudible directly in Gu Wei's ear. The footage then showed Gu Wei jerking his head up abruptly, blushing fiercely, and spitting out, "Reaction memes are not supposed to be that pervy!"

Then, without another word, Gu Wei fled.

Now, all of Weibo knew about Gu Wei's umbrella blunder, and they even knew he had been pinned to a wall.

It was only a short while ago that people were flaming him, and scads of gossip-loving netizens were still eyeing Gu Wei like hawks. As soon as one clicked into the new trending topics about him, one would see countless comments and myriad perspectives—

Netizen 1: Is Gu Wei trying to stay a hot topic all year? There's no end to this. Every few days, he's back in the top trends. It's been nonstop ever since that scandal about him plagiarizing his dance choreography last year. I seriously haven't been able to like him since then.

Comments like these were common from his anti-fans.

Netizen 2: Little Gu is so cute! Usually when he's dancing, he's so handsome and alluring, but in his everyday life he's just adorable. When our little brother was struggling to close his umbrella, I nearly laughed myself to death. Let's light a candle for the poor passerby and apologize to him on our little brother's behalf.

Comments like these were common from his genuine supporters.

Netizen 3: This kid… isn't he just way too cute? I'm going to follow this show just for his face! The umbrella part had me laughing my ass off. You can tell this show doesn't have a script, that poor boy looked halfway scared to death!

Netizen 4: Holy shit, is this passerby really just some random guy? Not someone arranged by the show? He's way too hot! Even mob characters are so attractive these days.

And these were the gossip-seeking types who had clicked into the hot, trending tag without knowing who Gu Wei was at all.

Mixed into these comments, there were also some that had nothing to do with the travel show at all—

Netizen 5: Are you fucking idiots kidding me? You think this is some mob character? This is Jiang Xun! God Xun! You know, the god-tier player of FPS game Shou Ze? The legendary miracle worker who captains Team TMW? Just a few days ago, the news about them winning their seventh consecutive tournament was hot! Have you goldfish-brained morons forgotten about that already?!

Netizen 6: That's right, that's Jiang Xun. He and his team have been up in northern Europe these past few days, taking a vacation after winning a world championship title.

This was a gaggle of Jiang Xun's fans who'd leapt onto the topic and turned the conversation towards professional esports. They didn't seem to care about the persistent bickering between Gu Wei's fans and anti-fans. Instead, they just carried on their own conversation about Jiang Xun's fierce performance and awesome leadership skills at the recent world invitational tournament, like a bunch of people dancing to the beat of their own drum at a party they weren't invited to.

Mixed into all of that chaos, there was one big-name verified account with countless fans chiming in with an opinion.

The avatar of this account was the image of a red king crab with its pincers raised. The comment from this Lord Crab account, under the Wandering With You trailer, had garnered a huge number of likes and become a hot topic in and of itself.

JiangYingKANI1: Eh??? Isn't that my big brother???

Following this comment from Jiang Ying, there were twenty thousand likes and a seemingly endless string of comments all saying the same thing.

Netizen A: @JiangYingKANI, your brother and your nemesis are getting hot2 together. [dogeface]

Netizen B: @JiangYangKANI, your brother and your nemesis are getting hot together. [dogeface]

Netizen C: @JiangYangKANI, stay calm, your brother and your nemesis are getting hot together. [dogeface]

 

Jiang Xun, wearing headphones, was intensely focused on his computer in his team's training room. His fingers flew across the keyboard at lightning speeds. On the monitor, his character vaulted over a bunker. The sounds of gunfire rang out. And his enemy went down.

When the monitor flashed a victory screen, Jiang Xun slid off his headphones.

Their scheduled training session was already over. He picked up his cell phone, which had been flashing with new notifications for quite a while now.

Jiang Ying had sent a message.

[Big-Clawed Crab]: [vid]

[100K Volts]: What is this?

[Big-Clawed Crab]: Don't go on Weibo yet. Let me brainwash you a bit first.

[100K Volts]: ?

[Big-Clawed Crab]: Evidence of my opponent's disastrous, flaming-car-wreck singing. You need to have your soul cleansed.

 

1. His username is '江影KANI' in the original text. '江影’'is Jiang Ying, and in Japanese crab is pronounced 'kani'. Looks like Jiang Ying really, really, really likes crabs.

2. A sort of play on words. 热搜 (rè sōu) means 'trending topic' in Chinese, literally 热 = hot and 搜 = search. So, your brother and your nemesis are becoming hot topics together → your brother and your nemesis are getting hot together.

 

↤ Prev | Table of Contents | Next ↦

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.