YOUR MEMES ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU

Chapter 8: What Were You Selling?

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The person he had been talking to these past few days… was Jiang Xun?

Which was also to say that he didn't know he was talking to Jiang Xun, but Jiang Xun knew he was talking to Gu Wei.

What did Jiang Xun contact him for?

Marriage?

The nonsense talk between his dad and whatever colleague about arranging a marriage—Jiang Xun had actually bought into that?

This meme was starting to seem like he was actually quite naive.

Gu Wei silently stared at his cell phone screen some more.

So what did that mean for their conversation? When Gu Wei had tried to sell him a subscription package for a substitute farming service, what did Jiang Xun think he was responding to? If Gu Wei remembered correctly, Jiang Xun had carried on the conversation just fine.

Did that mean…

Jiang Xun was actually really bad at talking to people?

Incorrect.

The truth was not that simple.

Gu Wei returned his attention to the two messages he had recently received from 100K Volts.

[100K Volts]: How much will it cost for a year?

[100K Volts]: I'll take you, so don't accept any other clients from now on.

The horror that was starting to descend upon Gu Wei was so intense that he crushed a pecan in his hand.

The farther back he scrolled in their chat logs, the more he felt something was simply not right. This unsettling feeling of wrongness permeated the whole conversation.

[100K Volts]: So you know it's bad for your body.

[100K Volts]: Tell me the truth. How long have you been doing this?

[100K Volts]: How many clients have you already had?

That feeling of wrongness…

[100K Volts]: All of them are barbarians.

…was still growing more intense.

Gu Wei took a deep breath and braced himself for the worst as he scrolled up to one of the earlier messages from Jiang Xun—

[100K Volts]: Do you think I'm some kind of… 'sponsor'?

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Well, aren't you?

That was where it all began, wasn't it?

Gu Wei had disgraced himself. Big time.

An engagement conjured out of thin air. A fiancé whose face he had never seen.

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: You son of a bitch.

[Yunkai Sees Mooncakes]: terrified.jpg

"Weiwei, you don't look so good," Fu Zhi said with a look of concern. "Are you still okay to perform tonight? We're leaving soon."

"...everything's fine."

Everything was absolutely not fine.

Everything was extremely not fine.

Did Jiang Xun think he was looking for a 'sponsor'? A sugar daddy?

All those exaggerated lies he'd made up to sell the business were coming back to bite him in the ass. He was sinking into a hole of his own lies.

And that meant, when they ran into each other in Europe, Jiang Xun…

Gu Wei's cell phone suddenly buzzed again. It seemed Jiang Xun had gotten tired of waiting for a response, and added—

[100K Volts]: What you're doing now is really not good for your body.

[100K Volts]: Listen to me, and don't go looking for anyone else.

[100K Volts]: If you have unsatisfied desires, kiddo, I'll sacrifice myself and keep you company.

Gu Wei was speechless once more.

One of the other members of T.ATW was looking on, still cupping a handful of sunflower seeds, and saw the instant Gu Wei's face turned astonishingly red.

Gu Wei had already resolved to properly apologize to Jiang Xun for the misunderstanding. Now, that resolve exploded in his brain like a volatile batch of fireworks.

As soon as he received those new messages, Gu Wei could swear he heard a hundred echoing copies of Jiang Xun's voice in his ears, calling him kiddo.

He blanched.

No, wait—even though he had been at fault for the misunderstanding at first, wasn't Jiang Xun treating this too lightly?

What kind person would so naturally come to the conclusion that it was this kind of subscription service?

That's right. No matter how it started, the person to blame for things developing to this point was Jiang Xun.

Jiang Xun was a huge pervert. It was all the perverted Jiang Xun's fault.

 

Out of the goodness of his pure heart and his concern for his little fan, Jiang Xun had sent those first new messages to Gu Wei. It was practically a humanitarian outreach effort. But after waiting for ages and not receiving a reply, his impulsive nature and tendency to be a little brazen kicked in, and he couldn't resist adding a few lines.

When it came to protecting his little fan, Jiang Xun thought he was already doing a pretty good job.

His little fan should now be able to wash himself free of his past mistakes and lead a clean life, walking on the right road.

After a long, long while, Jiang Xun finally received Gu Wei's reply—

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Ge, don't get the wrong idea. QAQ

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: I'm selling a service. Not my body.

Jiang Xun blinked.

Then he blinked again.

And, for good measure, again.

This wasn't what he had expected at all. Shouldn't his little fan be crying in gratitude and thanking him right now?

Not selling his body?

Then what exactly had he been selling before?

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