YOUR MEMES ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU

Chapter 27: Thinly Veiled Euphemisms

↤ Prev | Table of Contents | Next ↦

By deliberately lowering his voice to a whisper, Gu Wei had unknowingly made himself sound incredibly alluring and coquettish. In his eagerness to hear Jiang Xun's answer, he stuck close to Jiang Xun's side, practically plastered against his shoulder.

But no answers were forthcoming.

"Ge?" Gu Wei prompted. He even added a reassurance, saying, "Don't worry. You can think about it and text me on WeChat later."

He still received no answer, but he did elicit a reaction from Jiang Xun with that. As he watched, Jiang Xun's very nice and very handsome hands rose up.

In the blink of an eye, Gu Wei's world tipped sideways. He was suddenly pulled into Jiang Xun's lap before he could react, and suddenly the scent of Jiang Xun's crisp and refreshing cologne was all around him again.

Then, still without any warning, Jiang Xun raised a hand and—not too lightly, but also not too hard—gave Gu Wei's butt a slap.

Gu Wei froze.

Even when Gu Wei had been exposed as a fake Jiang Xun fan during the recording of their reality show, Jiang Xun's reaction hadn't been so pronounced.

Gu Wei lifted his head and shot Jiang Xun an incredulous look. "Why did the meme hit me?"

"Because my little wife is misbehaving again," Jiang Xun said. "Come on, give it some thought. What did you do wrong?"

Gu Wei was genuinely baffled. He had almost no self-awareness when it came to these things, and often didn't realize when his actions could be construed as flirtatious.

And if he didn't know, then Jiang Xun would have to teach him a 'lesson'.

What did he do wrong?

Gu Wei suddenly had a guess.

"Was it because I asked about your size?" Gu Wei ventured. "If there's a problem with your size, you can tell me over WeChat, and… ah!"

Jiang Xun had given his butt another slap.

"Wrong," Jiang Xun said. "You really don't understand."

Gu Wei fell silent again.

His assistant Mu Yue was listening to rock music with her earbuds tightly plugging up her ears. She seemed completely unaware of what was happening in the back seat. The driver, meanwhile, was completely focused on driving and didn't pay the back seat any mind at all.

"Can't think of anything else?" Jiang Xun asked.

Gu Wei shook his head.

"Have a really good, hard think about what you just asked me," Jiang Xun prompted. "And don't move."

Gu Wei obediently thought about it.

And of course he didn't dare to move a muscle.

What had he just asked Jiang Xun?

His type. The kind of play he liked. And his size.

Realization struck.

When Jiang Xun put it like that, Gu Wei suddenly became aware that those three questions, coming from him, could very well have sounded like a subtle… invitation.

The still-ambiguous matter of that engagement between them only made things worse.

When Gu Wei said nothing, Jiang Xun added, "Have you realized?"

Gu Wei blushed furiously and tugged at the cuffs of Jiang Xun's sleeves. He nodded.

"Based on what you just asked me," Jiang Xun continued, "can I take it to mean you're… begging me to take you?"

"I…" The realization of what he'd said was only now starting to truly sink in. "I didn't…"

He hadn't meant for it to be such a thinly veiled euphemism.

No wonder the reaction meme was angry.

"Why are you asking me these questions?" Jiang Xun asked.

"Oh! That's…" Gu Wei suddenly regained a sense of hope. There was a perfectly good explanation. "Well, that's because I'm looking for a professional for you. If you want a year, a pro would be way better than me…"

Jiang Xun stared down at him.

They had somehow become like a chicken talking to a duck again.

And if they were really going to tie the knot, the little idol still needed to be taught a few things.

"These questions," Jiang Xun said. "Have you only ever said these things to me?"

"Of course," Gu Wei answered immediately.

Jiang Xun nodded, his severe expression letting up just a little. "And you won't say these things to anyone else in the future?"

"Absolutely not," Gu Wei said, hastily shaking his head.

The only one who had ever heard Gu Wei say such unintentionally salacious things, so far, had been Jiang Xun.

Gu Wei had no idea why, but ever since that late-night call from his dad about arranging some marriage for him, he had been creating one hot mess after another in matters that involved Jiang Xun.

"Gu Weiwei, what's going on in your head all day?" Jiang Xun mused as he finally helped Gu Wei sit up straight again. "How many 'nice surprises' do you intend to give me?"

Gu Wei thought about it for a moment and came to another realization. "You… it can't be that, when you talked about buying a year, you meant a year with… me, right?"

The chicken and the duck were finally speaking the same language.

Jiang Xun rubbed the center of his brows. "Gu Weiwei, your heart is trying to escape the truth. That's why you could misinterpret my meaning to such an extent."

Gu Wei gave that some more thought. He was right on the verge of reminding Jiang Xun that their engagement had already been called off, but in the end he swallowed those words back down.

Jiang Xun had said he was trying to escape. Was he right? Was Gu Wei really trying to run away?

As for the engagement, he really wasn't that opposed to it anymore.

Was Jiang Xun thinking the same thing and feeling the same way?

"You got me all worked up, so you'll need to think of a way to take care of the problem," Jiang Xun said. "When you get home, be sure to think about it."

The car pulled up in front of the offices of Gu Wei's agency.

"Ge, I promise I won't make any more trouble for you," Gu Wei said, falling back on a phrase that tasted extremely familiar on his tongue.

"You're always making trouble," Jiang Xun said. He wasn't going to believe that empty promise anymore. He leaned over and trapped Gu Wei against the car door, lowering his head to whisper in his ear, "But it's fine. You're not bad at it, so I'll look forward to the next time you make trouble for me."

"You…" Gu Wei was flustered to the point of scrabbling for the door handle behind him, eager to make his escape. "Jiang Xun… you really are a big pervert."

As the SUV pulled away, leaving two of its passengers behind, Mu Yue finally plucked out her earbuds. "What's the matter, Weiwei? Jiang Xun went out of his way to give us a ride. He's a pretty good person, isn't he?"

Gu Wei said nothing.

After escaping the stifling back seat of the car, with an autumn breeze now washing over him, Gu Wei had a moment of clarity. He did feel bad for calling someone a big pervert right after accepting a ride from that same someone.

Plus, this time, the misunderstanding really had been his fault.

Would Jiang Xun be angry?

The Jiang Xun who looked after him throughout their reality show. The Jiang Xun who had even let him use his lap as a pillow all morning. Would that Jiang Xun be angry?

Gu Wei brought up the chat with Chi Yunkai again—

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Mooncake, I made someone angry. What do I do?

[Yunkai Sees Mooncakes]: Is it serious? If it's serious, kiss up.

It was pretty serious, wasn't it?

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: How do I kiss up to someone?

[Yunkai Sees Mooncakes]: Easy! Use a birthday or some holiday as an excuse to give the person a gift, and add in a few sweet words when you do.

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Got it.

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: CuteBlush.jpg

Gu Wei pulled up Jiang Xun's Weibo page and, first and foremost, gave him a follow. He snooped around on the profile a bit and found the path to freedom and salvation—

Coincidentally, the reaction meme's birthday was just next week.

↤ Prev | Table of Contents | Next ↦

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.