YOUR MEMES ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU

Chapter 75: @JiangXun, Explain Yourself

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@Little Hedgehog's Sunny Doll: Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh, FFXW is real.

@Cuckoo Bird: @Little Hedgehog's Sunny Doll, sister I understand your thirst for sweet new content, but let's really keep a low profile. Haven't you heard the rumors from the esports world? The ones about Jiang Xun having a fiancé? If those rumors are true, we would be making trouble for them.

@Groundhog: Wahhhhhh, let's all ship responsibly. I suddenly feel awful. If Jiang Xun's engagement is real, then is 'FoodForXunWei' destined for a bad end?

@Has Jiang Enyuan Apologized Yet: How about we make a group chat? Let's cherish the time we have for now.

@Dirty Cat: I think that's a good idea. We can ship quietly and not disturb our boys. It's best for us to keep a low profile because they're both low-profile people, and they've been really busy lately. We don't want public opinion to affect their relationship.

@Little Lily Leaf: Wow, our family's shippers are so well-behaved. Let's hurry with the group chat, I think I found a lot of new content.

Ten minutes later, a special group chat for the 'FoodforXunWei' shippers was created. The fans who had been struggling to keep a low profile ever since Gu Wei's livestream finally had a place where they could let their feels run rampant.

And so, the supertopic began to look like this—

[They have a very nice relationship.]

[They became good friends after filming a variety show together.]

[It's brotherly love, it's brotherly love. Let's not get overexcited.]

[Everyone, please don't disrupt their work. Jiang Xun has a tournament soon.]

But the group chat looked like this—

@Little Hedgehog's Sunny Doll: You guys brace yourselves. There really is too much sweet content of these two. [HidesFace.jpg]

@Has Jiang Enyuan Apologized Yet: Why do I feel like Doll knows a lot of things?

@KikiandChuchu: I'll start. I don't mean this in a shippy way at all, but I feel like the relationship between Gu Wei and Jiang Ying has been a lot better these days. Jiang Ying used to target Gu Wei all the time, but not so much lately.

@Has Jiang Enyuan Apologized Yet: I can't explain why, but I just get the feeling Jiang Ying has gone through some deep emotional journey that none of us know about. When Jiang Xun and Gu Wei trended together for the first time, Jiang Ying was pretty unhappy about it. But now he's strolling into Gu Wei's stream to look for his brother like it's no big deal.

@Chestnut: Could it be because the relationship between Gu Wei and Jiang Xun is getting better and better? But there's something I'm stuck on. Do you guys remember the blogger who said Jiang Ying has a terrible personality, but always protects family? Does that mean Gu Wei has become 'family' to him?

@A Sky Full Of Stars: I really want to know if they'll share a bed tonight. Let me dream! Even though I'm sure Jiang Xun has more than one bedroom at his house, waaaahhhhhh.

@Sweetly Sweetly Shipping Every Day: [RaisesHand.jpg] I have a question. Why is 'FoodForXunWei' trending even though we're trying so hard to keep a low profile?

@Little Hedgehog's Sunny Doll: ……

Yi Qing was the only person left in TMW's training room. She rubbed her eyes and opened the little hedgehogs' defense squad group.

A certain alt account was currently quite active there.

@Little Hedgehog's Edible Crab: Do we need to make signs for the New Year's concert?

@Little Hedgehog Grow Up Fast: Of course! We'll need to raise funds soon for flags and banners too.

@Little Hedgehog's Edible Crab: 'kaaay, call me when you're fundraising. I look forward to Weiwei's performance at the New Year's gala.

@Little Hedgehog's Arare: PhotoEdits.zip, help yourselves if you need any.

Yi Qing just couldn't resist poking her captain on WeChat.

[sunny]: Your courtship skills are too formidable, captain.

[100K Volts]: You flatter me.

[sunny]: Is my idol sleeping?

[100K Volts]: Not yet. He's holding onto my shirt and dozing. He's pretty cute when he's drifting off like this.

[sunny]: Cease and desist. I'm underage, I don't want to hear your NSFW stories. I really don't want to hear them at all. Really.

[100K Volts]: You're not messaging me this late for ship material, are you?

[100K Volts]: Too bad, you'll have to make your own material for now. The other shippers can't keep up with you, can they?

[sunny]: ……

[sunny]: Everyone else is drunk on new discoveries, and I'm here sober and wide awake. I'm starting to realize that knowing too much is a curse.

[sunny]: But save your taunts for the winter tournament. Use them on your enemies.

[100K Volts]: Oh, that's right. I wanted to talk to you about something.

[sunny]: ?

[100K Volts]: When the first string is playing in the winter tournament, you keep an eye on the rookies.

[sunny]: Got it. As long as it doesn't interfere with my life as an idol chaser and a shipper, I'm fine with anything.

"You're not going to sleep yet?" Gu Wei murmured. He had already lay down in bed. "I have to get up early tomorrow. I don't want to disturb you."

"I'll drop you off at your agency tomorrow," Jiang Xun said. "Go to sleep."

Jiang Xun put away his cell phone, turned off the lights, and tucked Gu Wei in.

"I don't know why," Gu Wei mumbled. His voice was muffled by the covers. "When I sleep with you, I don't wake up in the middle of the night as much."

Gu Wei had already realized that a long time ago, when he fell asleep leaning against Jiang Xun on the flight they'd shared. So, that night, he hadn't even brought his usual medication to Jiang Xun's place.

Chu Yi had said that Gu Wei's trouble sleeping could stem from anxiety over his lack of intimate relationships. Jiang Xun's appearance in his life gave him something that had been missing from his world for a very long time.

"Then," Jiang Xun whispered, as he took Gu Wei into his arms, "always sleep with me from now on."

 

Gu Wei's schedule was packed. Jiang Xun received a call from Gu Wei's manager first thing in the morning.

"Jiang-zong, have you gotten enough rest? Please hurry and return our agency's artist to us."

"Not enough," Jiang Xun said. "What time is it? I did exactly as you asked yesterday, you know. I didn't show up in Gu Wei's livestream at all."

Jiang Xun had just innocently let MVP make an appearance.

"The show we're filming for today wants to capture T.ATW in their 'most natural' habitat. They decided to start filming four hours early to catch the boys off guard," Zhao Ya said. "This is going to be too real. The camera crew is almost here, so hurry up and bring our runaway back."

"Got it, got it." Jiang Xun reached over and gently pinched Gu Wei's cheek. "I'm about to be busy for a while, so take good care of my Weiwei. Also, what we talked about earlier. Let's discuss it once I finish my tournament."

"Didn't you already find people to control the situation? I'll keep an eye on it," Manager Zhao promised. She urged him to hurry one more time before finally hanging up.

"Weiwei, wake up," Jiang Xun murmured, patting Gu Wei on the shoulder. "Time to get up and go to work."

Gu Wei was sluggish in the mornings. Jiang Xun explained his schedule to him twice, and helped him get dressed, before Gu Wei understood that the shooting for his show had been moved up.

"Have some breakfast first," Jiang Xun said. "I'll take you back after we eat."

By the time Jiang Xun dropped Gu Wei off in front of his agency's dorm, the camera crew from In A Small World With You had already arrived. As per usual for this show, the footage was already being streamed online.

It just so happened to be Sunday. Even at that early hour, plenty of viewers were already up and ready to watch the livestream of Small World. Naturally, they all saw Gu Wei rushing back in someone's car.

[The show just started and things are already getting interesting. Looks like we caught a little kid who stayed out all night. Interrogate him!]

[When Weiwei stayed out all night, did he think he would be caught so early the next morning?]

[Hahahahaha, he's been caught red-handed. Open the door, quick! I want to see what this little losers club's dorm looks like.]

[They might still be sleeping in. It seems like the camera crew arrived four hours early to ambush them.]

[Who dropped Gu Wei off? I bet it was Jiang Xun, hehehe.]

[Everyone! Low profile! Let's not ship here. Jiang Xun and Gu Wei both have their own work to do today.]

"Are you already filming?" Gu Wei asked, taking off his face mask as he approached the crew.

"They started ages ago," his manager said. "Do you know how hard it is to be your manager? One of you runs away for a night, and the other four are still sleeping in. Gu Wei, say hello to the viewers."

Gu Wei blinked into the cameras. "Good morning, everyone…"

The door to the dormitory finally opened. A hand reached out, yanked Gu Wei inside, and slammed the door shut again.

Manager Zhao was baffled.

As were the cameramen.

The bullet comments on the livestream began to flow—

[Auntie Zhao, open the door! Something is definitely happening in there!]

[Cameraman, charge! Don't give them a chance to hide anything!]

[Hahahahahaha, I'm laughing my ass off, Gu Wei really was just yanked in there!]

[Are my beloved gege always like this?]

"Give us five minutes!" Chi Yunkai shouted from inside.

"Open the door for us, okay?" a crew member pleaded, turning to Manager Zhao.

"You guys aren't going to open the door?" Gu Wei whispered to the others. "They're already live."

"We can't," Shi Xinyan said. He still had a toothbrush in his mouth. "We have to get ready, or none of our public personas will stay intact."

"What were you guys doing last night?" Gu Wei asked. He looked into the living room and was stupefied by the mass amounts of sunflower seed shells in there.

"We were watching your livestream. We've all been busy, it's rare for us to get a chance to meet up," Fu Zhi said. He carried his flowery blankets over to a cupboard and shoved them inside, swiftly tidying up his room until it looked acceptably 'cool'.

Shi Xinyan, still brushing his teeth, hid away his stinky luosifen. Luo Chenxuan had an armful of snacks that he, apparently, planned to hide in Gu Wei's room.

"Come on in," their manager said, unlocking the door with her key. "Are you boys done cleaning up yet?"

The first thing the cameras caught was the sight of Chi Yunkai hastily sweeping up the sunflower seed shells in the living room.

Their manager fell silent.

Your personas, she thought desperately. Where are your personas? Whip them out!

The live broadcast had already fed that image straight into the viewers' eyes—

[I feel like we're witnessing the aftermath of a wild party. It's like one of them streamed while the others partied their asses off.]

[There's so much life, so much character in this dirty little dorm. Us fans can relax. We can tell their bonds are real, not fake.]

[Hahahahaha, they were all watching Gu Wei's stream last night, weren't they?]

[I just want to ask whose dirty socks are in front of the bathroom door.]

"Hey, guys." Fu Zhi ducked in front of the cameras to greet their viewers first, having finished cleaning up before the others. To the cameraman, he suggested, "Shall we have a look at my room first?"

With that, Fu Zhi threw his bandmates a pointed look, signaling for them to hurry up and get their own rooms sorted out.

But the viewers weren't having it.

[No, we don't want to go! You obviously already finished cleaning your room.]

[Fu Zhi: I'll buy you guys some time, hurry up and clean.]

[Is the director there? We refuse to go. Don't give the others a chance to clean up.]

[Fu Zhi isn't the captain for nothing, he's so thoughtful.]

"Then, you guys tell us," the host of that episode said to the viewers. "Whose room should we look at first?"

[We want to visit the one who stayed out all night.]

[Exactly, we want to go to Gu Wei's room. Let's take a look in there.]

[Seconded. That one just got back, he definitely didn't have time to clean up.]

[We want to see our idols in their most natural state.]

"All lies," Shi Xinyan said after glancing at the bullet comments. "If you guys see us in our most natural state, you won't love us anymore."

[We'll love you, we will, we will!]

[We swear we'll love you even more.]

The liars were getting more and more excited.

Since the request came from their viewers, the director naturally couldn't refuse. After getting Gu Wei's permission, they pushed open the door and entered his room.

The furnishings in Gu Wei's room were very plain and simple. Even his blankets and sheets were all one solid color. His desk lamp and alarm clock were both white. On the dresser, there was a small emblem bearing the TMW logo. Besides that, the only thing sitting out was a mandala coloring book. A few colored pencils were scattered around.

[Wow, it's really… minimalist.]

[Ahhhhh, I'm in my idol's room.]

[Does Gu Wei feel a lot of pressure? When I had some mood problems, my doctor also recommended a mandala coloring book to me.]

[The room is a little plain. Didi, you don't want to buy anything to decorate?]

Gu Wei never thought this room was plain, until he met Jiang Xun and started spending time with him. Now, his mood and perspective seemed to have changed. The mandala coloring book really was something he'd bought to help regulate his mood in the past.

"I've let you guys down," Gu Wei said, smiling into the camera for the audience. "There's nothing special in here."

The heating was on in the dormitory, and the temperature was much higher than it was outdoors. When he first got back, Gu Wei hadn't felt too warm, but he was starting to feel the heat now.

He unzipped his down jacket and started to shrug it off before noticing his medicine box sitting next to the bed. He instinctively reached out to put it away, but he was abruptly yanked backwards by Fu Zhi before he could.

Gu Wei made an inquisitive sound.

"It's too cold, bundle up," Luo Chenxuan said. He quickly fetched a scarf from the coatrack and wrapped it around Gu Wei's neck, looping it twice.

Gu Wei was still confused.

Then he realized.

He'd left Jiang Xun's place in a hurry that morning, and he hadn't put on a new band-aid to cover the hickey on his throat. Fu Zhi and Luo Chenxuan had been quick to react.

But the viewers weren't going to let that go so easily.

[!!! Something! Is! Very! Fishy! Here!]

[What are you guys hiding?]

[The whole group is covering for Gu Wei?]

[Why are they acting like those shifty little shippers from Weibo?]

[Now that I think about it, I don't think Gu Wei was wearing a band-aid today. Ah, ah, ah!!! Why can't we rewind the livestream? I want to go back and take a closer look. I can't wait for the video to come out!]

[Let's get to the bottom of this. @JiangXun, get out here and explain yourself.]

[@JiangXun]

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