YOUR MEMES ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU

Chapter 92: Mutual Understandings Are Slowly Forged

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Team TMW was growing more and more popular, and with that popularity came many benefits. As the start of the trade season came around, many elite players eyed TMW. That season, TMW could practically have their pick of anyone they wanted.

When one of TMW's players, sunny, found time to do a livestream, she was instantly bombarded with questions.

Netizen: Why does everyone want to go to TMW? And it's not just players. I feel like coaches and other staff want to go to your team too.

"That's because we offer good pay and benefits," sunny answered.

Netizen: Can… can you tell us the details? We want to know how good is good.

"Sure," sunny said, comfortably leaning back in her gaming chair. "In addition to our salary and bonuses, Jiang Xun also buys us anything Weiwei endorses. Cosmetics, snacks… we get tons of it all."

Netizen: ……

It seemed the rumors were true. Jiang Xun and Gu Wei had a very good relationship.

After bragging about all the benefits the team offered, Yi Qing opened up the little hedgehogs' defense squad group on Weibo.

@Little Hedgehog's Arare: Here comes the sunny child.

@Little Hedgehog Grow Up Fast: We just saw your livestream. I'm super jealous! Why didn't I become an esports player?

@Little Hedgehog's Windchimes: Obligatory daily question! Have they gotten their  license yet?

@Little Hedgehog's Sunny Doll: Soon, I think. Because the movie is coming out soon. Weiwei is doing a promo tour now. I bet they'll get their marriage license as soon as the tour ends!

@Little Hedgehog's Arare: It's so nice to have an insider in the group. We'll be waiting eagerly for news of the wedding ceremony. Our didi is so popular these days that he never has time to take a break. I'm almost starting to feel sorry for Jiang Xun.

 

Jiang Xun picked Gu Wei up from one of his press conferences for the movie. When Gu Wei climbed into the car, he found Jiang Xun sitting in the back seat with MVP in his lap.

"We just went to get a shot," Jiang Xun said, passing the corgi over to Gu Wei. "And now someone's throwing a little temper tantrum."

The corgi did seem a bit listless. Gu Wei patted MVP's head and got settled in the back seat before realizing that the person driving the car was Jiang Ying.

"Don't mind me, I just happened to be in the area after getting off set," Jiang Ying said. He stepped on the gas and served into traffic, throwing on some high-speed chase music as he drove. "You guys talk. I'll let you have a taste of my awesome driving skills."

But carrying on a conversation while Jiang Ying drove was simply impossible.

After just a short while, Jiang Xun noticed Gu Wei's face growing stiffer and stiffer with fear. And the corgi's whimpers were gradually growing more and more miserable as well. Finally running out of patience, Jiang Xun turned to Jiang Ying and snapped, "Get out. I'll drive."

Jiang Ying meekly parked at the side of the road and switched with Jiang Xun, climbing into the back seat.

"You… how long have you had your driver's license?" Gu Wei asked hesitantly after taking a moment to calm his racing pulse.

"About a month, I guess," Jiang Ying said. "I had to take the test three times before I passed. It was hard as hell."

Gu Wei was silent.

T.ATW's group chat had recently changed its name to [WE'RE SO TIRED]. When Gu Wei opened WeChat and clicked into the group, he saw that Shi Xinyan had just shared some news from the entertainment industry again.

[stone]: Check this out.

[stone]: [Shocking! Jiang Enyuan Spotted At Airport, Terrible Complexion, Awful Hair!]

[stone]: [After Getting Popular By Plagiarizing Dances And Framing Other Stars, Where Is Jiang Enyuan Now?]

[Yunkai Sees Mooncakes]: Good. Fuck that guy, he deserves it. This is good news. Great news. I'm ecstatic.

[Fu Zhi]: This is to be expected. He isn't getting any jobs, and he's still bound by his agency contract. He doesn't have any significant works to his name, and his fans are gradually dispersing.

[The Sun At Dawn]: Okay, but honestly? Even though he's already like this, I still want to lock him in a bathroom and beat him up.

[Yunkai Sees Mooncakes]: +1

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Gege, please be extremely careful to keep our private T.ATW group chat private. Absolutely do not let our manager see this. [CuteBlush.jpg]

[stone]: What do we have to be afraid of? Everyone knows our little losers club doesn't have any decency.

"How long ago was that taken?" Jiang Ying asked, glancing over at Gu Wei's cell phone screen. He shook his head and took out his own laptop. "Let me show you the latest ones."

In the front seat, Jiang Xun was silent.

Gu Wei watched as Jiang Ying turned on his laptop and opened up a folder with Jiang Enyuan's name on it.

"I used to have a folder for you too," Jiang Ying said. "But Jiang Xun made me get rid of it."

"So all the scandals about Jiang Enyuan that came up on Weibo…" Gu Wei felt like a lot of the files in that folder looked extremely familiar.

"Those were all things I worked super hard to dig up and save," Jiang Ying said.

"Some of the things you have in there are too extreme," Jiang Xun said from the driver's seat. "Don't let Weiwei see that stuff."

Jiang Ying hummed absently and continued messing around on his laptop, organizing his files. He grabbed one video and dragged it into a different folder.

"Qi Zhu?" Gu Wei asked, reading out the name on the second folder. "Director Qi's son? I've met him once before."

"He's super frigid in person, right?" Jiang Ying said. "No sex appeal."

Gu Wei hesitated for a moment. "…I wouldn't know anything about that."

"He's way too popular right now, I can't push him back down," Jiang Ying said, heaving a heartfelt sigh. "How long has it been since you last saw Jiang Xun?"

"Three months," Gu Wei said.

"It's really too hard for celebrities to date. Only getting to see each other once in a while…" Jiang Ying sighed again. "If it were me, I would never date someone from the entertainment industry."

Gu Wei also felt like he had been too busy lately. Often, he could only have video chats with Jiang Xun. The kind of life where they spent every day together only seemed to exist in their shippers' supertopic group.

"And if I were to date, I would definitely move faster than you two," Jiang Ying continued while petting MVP. "How long has it been since you got engaged? And you still haven't filed for your marriage license? There's still a wedding to plan, you know."

"Weiwei, do you have your ID with you?" Jiang Xun suddenly asked.

"Hm?" Gu Wei lifted his head. "Yeah."

The car stopped in front of H City's Bureau of Civil Affairs.

Jiang Ying's eyes widened.

Gu Wei peered outside.

"But I don't have my household register with me," he said.

"I have it. I asked your dad for it a few days ago," Jiang Xun said, unbuckling his seatbelt without any further delay. "Let's go."

"Go, go!" Jiang Ying urged. His eyes flashed, practically glowing with delight. "I'll stay here and watch the car."

Jiang Xun took Gu Wei's hand, and the two walked into the main lobby of the Bureau side by side. Behind them, Jiang Ying took a photo and posted it to Weibo at the speed of light.

@JiangYingKANI: EXCLUSIVE UPDATE!!! See for yourself. Jiang Xun and his Little Weilai. [BigHeart.jpg][photo]

The comments exploded within seconds, and Weibo started to lag.

In the 'FoodForXunWei' group chat—

[AH, AH, AHHHHHHHHH!!! WEIWEI AND JIANG XUN ARE FINALLY GETTING THEIR MARRIAGE LICENSE! I've waited so long for this!]

[They're so good together. They're really made for each other.]

[I can relax now, I can finally relax. Now I can get some sleep.]

In the little hedgehogs' chat—

[Best wishes, Weiwei. May you enjoy a hundred years of happiness~]

[@JiangXun, we'll leave Weiwei in your hands.]

[Didi, we want to see wedding photos soon.]

The tabloid reporters who'd been waiting anxiously for a chance to get an exclusive scoop—

[??? wtf, we had people staking out the front of the Civil Affairs Bureau. How did he get this post out faster than us?]

[Why are you stealing our jobs!!!]

[You wanna change careers? We offer full benefits, and you won't have to shoot any movies.]

And Jiang Ying's shadows—

[Sorry, our Little Ying has gotten off the leash again.]

[We're sorry about him stealing your jobs.]

[What the hell??? What kind of person did I become a fan of? Why is he better at being a paparazzo than the actual paparazzi?]

Before long, Jiang Xun posted a new photo on Weibo and mentioned Gu Wei.

@TMW-Xun: @T.ATW-GuWei, mine. [photo]

The comments soon became a sea of well wishes.

[The girls who've been rushing you to get married are unemployed now, but we're still so, so happy for you.]

[Who says we're unemployed? Now we have to rush them to hold a wedding ceremony. I'm really curious to find out who they'll invite.]

[+1, also waiting for their guest list! Hahaha, why am I more excited about this guest list than I am for the celebrity line-up on CoconutTV's next New Year's gala?]

 

On New Year's, Jiang Xun and Gu Wei went to see the movie that Gu Wei had spent most of the year working on.

It was the first day of the new year, and the theater was practically packed. Jiang Xun and Gu Wei, wearing hats and face masks, took two seats in the row at the very back of the theater.

The movie had yet to start, and the seat to Gu Wei's left was still empty. He thought for a moment, then took out his phone and sent Jiang Xun a text on WeChat.

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: I don't know how I did. Nervous!

[Husband]: I think you'll be fine. Just now, I heard a bunch of girls say they came just to see you.

[If You Love me Please Send Me Money]: I don't have many scenes either. Nervous!

[Husband]: Nervous, huh?

Gu Wei looked over at him. "Hm?"

"Then I'll talk to you about something that won't make you nervous." Jiang Xun pulled up a photo on his phone and leaned over, bringing his lips to Gu Wei's ear. When he was close enough, he whispered, "Tonight. You wanna try this?"

Gu Wei never imagined Jiang Xun's perverted streak would act up again at a time like this. He nearly grabbed Jiang Xun's phone and chucked it into the aisle.

Gu Wei had always known that, when two people loved each other, they would be 'together'. But he'd never known there were so many complicated and explicit ways in which two people could be 'together'.

"It doesn't look too difficult," Jiang Xun said.

"No way…" Gu Wei quickly averted his gaze and whispered, "It'll hurt."

"Says who?" Jiang Xun sounded skeptical. "Weiwei is so flexible. It's definitely possible."

"That…"

Gu Wei thought about it. In truth, he was actually very agreeable.

"Little Weilai, why don't you tell me something I want to hear," Jiang Xun suggested. "I swear I'll be gentle. No more bullying like before."

When he thought of that 'before', Gu Wei felt his cheeks heat up. It was a good thing the theater was dark; no one would be able to see his expression.

What was the 'something' that Jiang Xun wanted to hear?

Since the movie had yet to begin, Gu Wei gave it some thought.

Jiang Xun's avatar was a pikachu, his cell phone ringtone was pikachu noises, and the lanyard that had been hanging from his phone for three years was a pikachu too.

Gu Wei came to a sudden realization.

"We have our license now. What should you call me?" Jiang Xun whispered as the film's opening credits began to play.

Gu Wei scooted closer to Jiang Xun. He lifted one hand to Jiang Xun's neck and stretched up to press a kiss to Jiang Xun's cheek, the way Jiang Xun always kissed him.

Jiang Xun's breathing quickened subtly, and he asked again, "What are you supposed to call me now?"

Gu Wei grit his teeth, steeled his resolve, and gave Jiang Xun a very good rendition of his cell phone ringtone: "Pika-pika~"

Jiang Xun fell silent.

Gu Wei cocked his head to the side.

Was that not right?

"Watch the movie," Jiang Xun said, nudging Gu Wei back into his own seat. "I'm going to bully you to death tonight."

Gu Wei completely forgot about his worries over whether or not viewers would like his character. He trembled through the whole movie and all the way home.

"'There wasn't a single scene that was a good point to take a bathroom break. Gu Wei was amazing, his acting skills are godly,'" Jiang Xun recited once they were in bed. He held Gu Wei to him with one hand and held his phone in the other, scrolling through recent reviews of the movie.

"'Gu Wei is so capable,'" Jiang Xun continued. "'You can't tell by looking at his variety shows, but this internet star can fit right in on a high-profile movie set.'

"'Every single actor did a good job on this movie. I hope Gu Wei will show us some more outstanding performances in the future.'

"'I'm a fan now, I'm definitely a fan now. The little idol perfectly captured the melancholy of his character. He's going to go far.'" As he read review after review, Jiang Xun kept a firm hold on Gu Wei, not giving him a chance to struggle. "Little idol, what do you think?"

The little idol who had flown so gracefully through the movie was now mustering up all his strength to stay upright in Jiang Xun's lap, straddling his waist. He could barely make a sound, only trembling faintly in response.

"What should you call me?" Jiang Xun asked, testing Gu Wei on the lesson he'd been taught that night.

"Laogong…" Gu Wei rubbed his eyes. "I'm sleepy now… can you stop bullying me?"

Jiang Xun had gotten started as soon as they came home from the movie. Gu Wei was sore all over now, and his eyes had even gone red.

There were some things that Jiang Xun was really finicky about. Just for the sake of being called a certain thing, he'd messed with Gu Wei for half the night.

Ever since getting their marriage license, whenever Gu Wei and Jiang Xun had a little miscommunication, Gu Wei would be brought home and 'educated'.

"Okay, that's enough." Jiang Xun put away his phone, which was still playing a video clip from Weibo. In that clip, the director was giving an interview and praising Gu Wei's acting skills. While Gu Wei was a little distracted by the noise, Jiang Xun wrapped both arms around his waist and flipped him onto his back.

"Little Weilai, a mutual understanding is slowly forged," Jiang Xun murmured. "So, when we're done forging that understanding, you can go to sleep."

Gu Wei lost count of the number of times he called out a certain name before Jiang Xun let him go.

Later, while Jiang Xun tidied up in their room, a medicine box fell out of the drawer.

"You can… throw it away," Gu Wei mumbled. He was too tired to open his eyes, and he hadn't relied on medicine to fall asleep in a long time. "It's expired, right?"

"Got it." Jiang Xun lifted an arm and deftly tossed the medicine box into the trash can by the door. "Go to sleep."

Gu Wei heard the muffled thunk of the box falling into the trash. Smiling softly, he soon fell into a deep and restful sleep.

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