YOUR MEMES ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU

Chapter 96

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On the night of the 14th of the first month of the new year, the New Year's Gala was being rebroadcast on TV. As per usual, at around ten in the evening, T.ATW's group chat got lively again.

WeChat Group [Zhao-jie, PLEASE LET US REST] (5)

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: CuteBlush.jpg

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Finally. Finally. Done with work.

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Brothers, I have good news.

[Yunkai Sees Mooncakes]: What kind of good news can there be? Tyrant Zhao got more work for us?

[Yunkai Sees Mooncakes]: SuperTiredRabbit.jpg

[stone]: ……

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Are you trying to make Zhao-jie punish you. [terrified.jpg]

[stone]: Chi Mooncake, you're really something. Tyrant Zhao… does Zhao-jie know she has a new nickname?

[Yunkai Sees Mooncakes]: You don't say anything, I don't say anything. She never has to find out.

'Yunkai Sees Mooncakes' recalled a message.

'stone' recalled a message.

'If You Love Me Please Send Me Money' recalled a message.

[The Sun At Dawn]: Oh, look. I've stumbled upon some cowards.

[Fu Zhi]: There probably won't be new work coming in anytime soon. We've already appeared on two major New Year's shows. [tea.jpg]

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Yep, no new work for now! We can finally take a break. I'm off for two days. I haven't been home in such a long time.

[The Sun At Dawn]: Then let's get together for lunch tomorrow. We can make some yuanxiao and do our social media work together.

Luo Chenxuan loved sharing snippets of the band's daily lives on Weibo. Right after that conversation, he took a screenshot of a bit of their conversation and posted it to his blog.

Before long, all their fans knew they would be getting together on the 15th for a T.ATW livestream—

Netizen 1: Hahahahahaha, what's with their conversations? They're so funny. I feel like T.ATW's official Weibo should release some of their chats every day. I would become their fan just by reading these.

Netizen 2: @XueqingEntertainment-ZhaoYa, Zhao-jiejie, we're here to snitch. Your little kiddies are badmouthing you behind your back lololol. Our gege are all so mischievous behind the scenes, huh?

Zhao Ya had kept a low profile on Weibo for many years. This was the first time she had received so many notifications at once. She was pretty curious until she opened up the app and saw a certain group's chat log.

@XueqingEntertainment-ZhaoYa: @T.ATW-ChiYunkai, [angry.jpg]

@T.ATW-ChiYunkai: @T.ATW-LuoChenxuan, why did you take a screenshot before I recalled the message??? [smack.jpg]

And squeezed in between all those messages about T.ATW's chat log, there was one netizen who wrote—

@TMW-Xun: @T.ATW-GuWei, Little Weilai, come home early tomorrow. We can do a livestream too. [PitifulPout.jpg]

This was someone who was extremely accustomed to keeping a high profile. There were plenty of things he could have said on WeChat or over a phone call, but he chose to say them on Weibo. Which made lots of shippers very, very happy.

And at some point, this person had changed his profile slogan. In front of the slogan that had previously read 'XX World Tournament Grand Champion', he had added 'Gu Wei's Jiang Xun'.

Before long, the comments section of Jiang Xun's latest Weibo post filled up with curious passersby and little hedgehogs.

[Checking in! I'm here to see what God Xun's married life is like.]

[Hahahahahahahaha, new friends, let me explain. This is God Xun's daily routine of pining for his wife.]

[I never thought the God Xun that struck fear into the hearts of his enemies would become a lonely househusband.]

[What's T.ATW doing over there? Hand over your best boy, fast!]

[We little hedgehogs will admonish Weiwei for you, Jiang Xun. Work is work, but he shouldn't leave poor Jiang Xun lonely.]

[Gu Wei, hurry home and comfort Jiang Xun. Your husband needs some attention.]

And every time Jiang Xun posted to Weibo, a certain someone just had to join in on the commotion.

@JiangYingKANI: Wo~ooow, so you two will be hosting a livestream? Let's have a little look-see. [HouseflyRubbingHandsTogether.jpg]

 

It was often said that celebrities were simply ordinary people who existed in the public eye. Gu Wei thought that was absolutely correct. At least, it was totally true of the few people in his group.

They put on their personas when they were in public, but as soon as they got a break, they could go as wild as any ordinary person.

Days off were exceedingly rare for T.ATW in their current state. Many people might choose to sleep in when they had time off, but the five members of T.ATW all preferred to get up bright and early to have one hell of a good time.

On the morning of the 15th, at seven in the morning, Gu Wei saw some new WeChat messages from Jiang Xun as soon as he woke up—

[Husband]: Weiwei, are you awake? I'll come pick you up this afternoon.

[Husband]: I asked for a few more days off for you, so you can rest lots.

[If You Love Me Please Send Me Money]: Wow! I love you! [CuteBlush.jpg]

[Husband]: That's what I like to hear.

[Husband]: But don't just say it on WeChat. Let me hear it elsewhere too.

[Husband]: SneakilyWatching.jpg

[If You Love me Please Send Me Money]: Jiang-zong is thinking too much. Farewell. [salute.jpg]

[Husband]: Bad boy. [sigh.jpg]

That sigh was so funny that Gu Wei had to stare at it for a long while before getting out of bed. As soon as he opened his bedroom door and shuffled outside, he saw Fu Zhi and Luo Chenxuan playing games in the living room.

And they were already streaming.

"You guys… aren't you trying way too hard?" Gu Wei mumbled. He rubbed at his sleepy eyes and drifted through the room almost as though floating.

"It's rare for us to get two days off. They said we have to play like our lives depend on it," Fu Zhi said helplessly. "They woke me up at four-thirty and dragged me out here to game."

The viewers of their livestream promptly started laughing their asses off.

[LOLOLOL! They had a day off, but they're playing like it's their job. Our gege are acting like me on precious weekends back in high school.]

[Gege, take a break. Even when you guys aren't shooting dramas or anything, you have to worry about maintaining your personas and all that. You must be tired.]

[Your daily lives are really just too interesting. I'm so lucky to be your fan.]

[Fu Zhi-gege's profile is too good. I'm about to lick my screen.]

"Weiwei, come play cards," Chi Yunkai called out as he moved a table into the room. "We need three people."

"You really do want to turn our dorm into a card hall," Gu Wei accused with a helpless laugh.

"Losers will have to pay up," Chi Yunkai warned. He dumped two sets of cards out onto the table. "You guys know how to play doudizhu, right? Right. Of course you do."

[Hah? I'm seriously about to laugh myself to death. You guys are this petty within your group? You really are a little losers club.]

[I remember an interview where Zhao Ya said these guys really know how to make a mess when they're left alone. Gu Wei's the only one who's a bit well-behaved.]

[Gu Wei's not well-behaved anymore, he's been corrupted by Jiang Xun. He's doing pretty good at cards, huh?]

[I want to be a manager too. I would feel so lucky to raise a group like them, bwahhhhhhhhh.]

[Wait, I can't remember what they were supposed to be streaming. Didn't they have something planned? Ah, forget it. I'm fine with watching them do anything.]

At two in the afternoon, Gu Wei won ten yuan from Chi Yunkai.

"Fine, take it for now. I'll win it back later," Chi Yunkai declared confidently.

But just then, Gu Wei's cell phone began to make 'pika-pika' noises. It vibrated on the table, and the screen lit up to show that the caller was someone named 'Xun'.

Chi Yunkai took one look at Gu Wei's phone and opened his mouth to holler—

"JIANG XUN IS COMING TO STEAL OUR BEST BOY AGAIN!"

In the chat of T.ATW's livestream room—

[Pffft.]

[Chi Yunkai's voice… rapping has really done a number on him, lol!]

[Jiang Xun is here to steal their best boy again? No, their best boy has already belonged to someone else for a very long time.]

[Weiwei, go! Run to him! lololol]

[His husband personally came to fetch him. He definitely has to run lololol]

After taking Jiang Xun's call, Gu Wei pocketed Chi Yunkai's ten yuan and left a despairing Chi Yunkai in the dust as he grabbed his bag and bolted downstairs.

From behind him, Chi Yunkai cried out, "Gu Wei, who said you could leave as soon as you won! Gimme back my ten yuan!"

Shi Xinyan watched on in silence.

He had ample reason to believe that his teammates quibbling over a measly ten yuan would quickly become a hot topic among netizens.

"Gu Weiwei, did you have fun?" Jiang Xun asked. He was leaning against the car, and he could see Gu Wei smiling as soon as they laid eyes on each other.

They climbed into the car, with Gu Wei settling in the passenger seat next to Jiang Xun. He had sprinted out of the dorm as soon as he received Jiang Xun's call, and he was still panting lightly from the sprint.

"Lots of fun," Gu Wei said. "Jiang Xun, why did you come so early? Didn't we agree you'd come tonight?"

"We're going to see Mom and Dad today. Jiang Ying is coming over too," Jiang Xun said. "Have you had lunch?"

Gu Wei was silent.

Forget about lunch. They hadn't even had breakfast. They'd all been too busy playing to think of food.

The five members of T.ATW had agreed to make yuanxiao during their stream today, but they never even got around to opening the rice flour.

"I knew you weren't eating properly again. If I didn't come early, you would've only had dinner today," Jiang Xun admonished. He tossed Gu Wei a few bags of snacks in a huff. "Reflect on your actions by yourself for now. I'll teach you a lesson tonight."

Jiang Xun grabbed a few more things and piled them into Gu Wei's arms. "I just picked up roasted chestnuts and milk tea. Your favorites," he said. "The chestnuts are still hot."

"Today was just a tiny mistake. It's so rare for me to get a day off. Doesn't God Xun want me to catch up on sleep?" Gu Wei tried to feed Jiang Xun a potato chip to placate him. "Tonight… how about you let me off this once?"

Jiang Xun smiled warmly and reached out, stroking his slender fingers over the nape of Gu Wei's neck. "Keep dreaming."

It went without saying that, when it came to bargaining away his punishments, Gu Wei had never succeeded.

Since he'd promised Weibo a livestream last night, Jiang Xun logged into his own streaming room as soon as they got home. A pack of little hedgehogs quickly scurried over from T.ATW's stream.

[Hahaha, time to move next door and watch our Weiwei some more.]

[Best boy is home~]

[System Notification: TMW-Sunny has entered the stream in her luxury sports car.]

[System Notification: TMW-West has entered the stream in his space shuttle.]

[Why are so many familiar names here lololololol]

[Wow, God Xun, your house is really big.]

[Is that Weiwei's ex-nemesis over there? dogeface.jpg]

"Come, I'll introduce you guys to everyone," Jiang Xun said to their viewers. He was in a pretty good mood as he walked his cell phone through the house. "My mom and my little brother are over there in the kitchen, and my dad is watching TV. You guys have probably seen his movies."

Then, Jiang Xun returned to Gu Wei's side and continued, "And this… is my Little Weilai."

Netizens instantly flooded the chat to say, obviously, they already knew everyone in Jiang Xun's family and didn't need any introductions at all.

"Oh, Weiwei is here?" Jiang Ying poked his head out from the kitchen and waved Gu Wei over. His cheeks were dusted with streaks of flour. "Come play."

"We're cooking. What kind of 'play' is that?" Song Jingxi laughed. She did step back after a while, letting the kids have free rein of the kitchen. "Okay, you guys have it your way. Jiang Xun, keep an eye on them. Make sure we end up with something edible for dinner."

Gu Wei washed his hands, rolled up his sleeves, and got ready to help.

"This… this is a… what is this?" Gu Wei blinked at the humongous ball of flour in Jiang Ying's hands.

"Big tangyuan with crab meat filling. I just finished it," Jiang Ying boasted. "You wanna try making something?"

That did pique Gu Wei's interest. He wanted to try making one with a nutty filling. When he was a kid, he'd never gotten to make anything like this for New Year's.

Jiang Xun spent a while entertaining their viewers in the livestream. He only looked over his shoulder when 'hahaha' and 'lolololol' comments covered the whole screen. By then, a row of misshapen tangyuan, some too big and some too small, had appeared on the counter.

Jiang Xun stared.

If this continued, the Jiang family really wouldn't end up with anything edible for dinner.

"Get out, get out. Troublemakers," Jiang Xun scolded. He had no choice but to set down his phone and take over in the kitchen after shooing away two little rascals who only knew how to make trouble.

In the end, the viewers in the livestream room were treated to a show of God Xun making some little holiday tangyuan—

[These godly hands can play esports, and they can make tangyuan too.]

[Captain! Captain, what are you doing? Tomorrow's headlines are going to be: TMW's retired captain turns to selling tangyuan to make a living.]

[LMAO, poor God Xun is helpless. Losing all his free time.]

[If you guys aren't going to cook Weiwei's nutty tangyuan, I'll take them.]

[My heart! Our God Xun has such lovely hands. I can't believe we get to see him kneading dough.]

"I haven't lost anything," Jiang Xun said. He glanced out into the living room. "I have everything I should have."

With TMW's team members leading the charge, the chat interface quickly filled up with sour lemon emojis of jealousy.

In the living room, Jiang Zheng was having a blast singing karaoke by himself. Song Jingxi was reading a book nearby, perfectly content to ignore the noise. Jiang Ying had pulled Gu Wei over to the coffee table to show off the new gossip he'd amassed.

Jiang Ying babbled excitedly about the recent feuds he'd gotten into, the people who'd cussed him out, the new scandals he'd unearthed, and so on and so forth.

Gu Wei listened until he smelled a sweet aroma wafting out from the kitchen. He lifted his head and looked up to find that Jiang Xun was still bustling around in there.

He got up and shuffled back into the kitchen.

Jiang Xun was still chatting with his viewers, indifferently reading out and answering some questions—

"Does my cooking taste good? Pretty good, I think. Your idol just can't plump up no matter what he eats. Don't blame that on me.

"Did I give Weiwei money for New Year's? Of course I did, I gave him a bunch of red envelopes. I'll make up for everything he didn't get in the past.

"What did Weiwei give me? Well, I won't tell you that. I'll be accused of being a big pervert again. See? I didn't even say anything and you guys are already starting in on me."

Gu Wei tiptoed into the kitchen. He glanced at the cell phone that Jiang Xun was using to stream, then pressed a finger to his lips and motioned for their viewers to shush. Quietly, he crept closer until he could pounce on Jiang Xun, wrapping his arms around him tight.

"Bored again?" Jiang Xun asked, knowing perfectly well who'd approached.

"Mm, super bored." Gu Wei breathed in deeply. He still adored the scent of Jiang Xun's woodsy cologne. "Is dinner ready?"

"Almost," Jiang Xun said. He fished out a small tangyuan from the pot to let Gu Wei have a taste. "Try it, but be careful. It's hot."

[We wanna try one too!]

[Wahhhhhh, I want to eat God Xun's handmade tangyuan so bad.]

[Weiwei, is it sweet?]

"It's sweet," Jiang Xun answered before Gu Wei could speak. He knocked his cell phone over, smothering the camera against the countertop, and backed Gu Wei up to the edge of a table to steal a kiss from his lips.

The viewers in the livestream were suddenly presented with a black screen.

[……]

[……]

[Jiang Xun's acting up again.]

[Nothing out of the ordinary. We're used to it by now.]

[Huh?]

[What a happy family.]

[A hundred years of good fortune to them both.]

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